Deus Ex Culina

Quick and Dirty Taco Salad

Quick because it takes less than fifteen minutes to prepare, dirty because it is juicy and succulent, yet made with trailer-park ingredients. I have to credit this recipe to my mother-in-law, whom I refer to as Miss Judith. Miss Judith gave me a little index card for my recipe box when Pete and I got married, because she said that he always asked for her to make Taco Salad when he came home from college for visits. I have found this to be great for Friday nights at our house, which are nearly always hectic. Easy, colorful, and delicious!

QUICK AND DIRTY TACO SALAD (serves four and a toddler)

1 lb. hamburger meat
1 package of taco seasoning (Old El Paso or other)
1 can red beans
1/2 head of lettuce, chopped to bite-size
1 tomato, diced
1 onion, diced
3 tbsp. diced jalapeno peppers
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 bag of white corn tortilla chips, crunched up
1 small-size bottle of Kraft Catalina Salad Dressing

Follow the directions on the back of the taco seasoning package to prepare the hamburger. Drain the beans, and heat on low while the meat is cooking. In a large mixing bowl, toss together the lettuce, tomato, onion, jalapeno peppers, and cheese. When the meat is finished, add the meat and the heated beans to the bowl and toss again. Finally, add the chips, and then the entire bottle of salad dressing. Toss very thoroughly and serve.

Trout

All right ladies and gentlemen. I am pleased to welcome the esteemed Trout Almondine to this blog. Trout is a bachelor from the D.C. area and someone I've known most of my life. His love of food is infectious and his writing style is witty and irresistable. I am certain he will make your mouth water with his every word. Please give him a warm welcome.

For Garlic Lovers Only

This is a recipe that I first saw in a cookbook that my mother found at a church sale in Quebec, called Forgotten Recipes of Traditional Quebec. This dish, I believe, originated in the Provence region of France and was brought by French settlers to the New World. At any rate it is delicious, smells like heaven as it cooks, and looks impressive when it is an awfully easy thing to make. Be warned: this dish is for serious garlic-aficionados only.

Here's what you need to make Chicken with Forty Cloves of Garlic:

One whole chicken, approx. 3 to 4 lbs.
3 tbsp. olive oil
Forty cloves of garlic, unpeeled but bruised
Bouquet garni (easily made by twisting rosemary, thyme, sage, and parsley together); reserve a sprig of each
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
One roasting pan with a lid (a large corningware item will work just as well).

Preheat oven to 400°. Prepare the roasting pan for the chicken by adding the olive oil, the salt, and the pepper. Next, wash the chicken inside and out and remove the items in the cavity. Shake the bird to knock off excess water, then pat dry with paper towels. Set aside.

Take 4 sprigs of rosemary, 2 of parsley, 3 of thyme, and 3 of sage, and form them into a small ball or "cage" by twisting them together and rolling them into a rough sphere or cylinder. Salt the inside of the chicken lightly, then insert the bouquet garni that you just made into the cavity.

Remove the paper from four of the garlic cloves and insert them into the cavity along with the bouquet garni. Chop the 1 sprig of rosemary, 1 sprig of thyme, 1 sprig of parsley, and 1 sprig of sage that you reserved, finely,and add it to the oil, salt and pepper mixture that you have in the roasting pan. Swirl with a spoon to distribute contents. Finally, roll the chicken in the oil mixture, being sure to coat the chicken thoroughly. Add the rest of the garlic - bruised but unpeeled - to the pan, around the chicken.

Bake for 1 hour and forty-five minutes, until the chicken is golden brown on the outside and the juices run clear. Serve with thinly sliced French or Cuban bread; you can smear the softened garlic that has been baked "in its shirt" onto the bread slices for a taste of real heaven!

Additional suggestions? I like to serve this meal with a generous salad of spring greens, freshly chopped bermuda onion, toasted almonds, tiny chunks of minced pear, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing. And though I'd usually suggest a with wine with a poultry dish, I really prefer a red with this one, something mellow on the tongue, nothing bitter or too spicy.

Let me know how it works for you!

Terms

Ok. So it would seem that my terms of service and requirements for posting were intimidating at the very least. So I'm revamping the rules, with an eye towards attracting more posts from people.

First of all, all copyrights to posts on this site are owned jointly by the person posting and me, the owner of Deus ex Culina. That means that you may reprint your posts anywhere you want to, but if by some act of God a publisher wants to compile some of these ramblings into a book or something, I don't have to ask everyone's permission to do that. I think that's fair given all the effort and money I've put into organizing the site.

Second, I'm changing the promotion rules. I'm no longer requiring photos of what you cook in order to advance. You will however, need to post photos to get to the highest level. Here's the new requirements:

Dishwasher: Newbie, no requirements other than that you ask to be allowed to post.

Apprentice: Successfully posted 5 recipes to my satisfaction. I reserve subjective right to promote or not based on my whim.

Line Cook: Successfully posted 10 recipes to my satisfaction. Again, I reserve all rights to to determine whether such recipes meet my satisfaction.

Chef: To be a full chef, you must be posting pictures of what you cook, and you must have completed enough recipes to be a Line Cook. How many pictures is subjective, and up to me.

So that's it. On an editorial note, all posters should place the recipes they post in the extended entry section, with an introduction in teh entry body section. All photos uploaded must not exceed 430 pixels in width. Also, when uploading photos, please use the local site path option, and place them in the directory "_images/username" where the username is the name you log in with. Also please compress your photos before uploading. Finally, please list your main ingredients in the keywords section when you post.

Thanks everybody!

mojitos

I know, I know... I said I'd post every Friday. I've been busy.

In preparation for next week in Maine, here's a fine counterpoint to my first post: the mojito. Nothing like the isosceles classic cocktail, this has more in common with an old T&T, gin and tonic (technically, it's a rum collins with mint, but wait, there's more!).

The recipe just doesn't do this drink justice, so I'll leave it to prose. First, you need what most bartenders call a muddler. I actually use a mortar and pestle, because it gets more mint flavor out with the stone on both sides, as opposed to a little bit of wood on glass. If you want to be a stickler, you can use the back of a wooden spoon, and it'll be pretty much the same as a muddler. The unfortunate part of the marble mortar and pestle is that it's very heavy, and if you try and clean it over your expensive glassware in the sink, and then drop it because it's soapy... you can quickly be out a few dollars.

The usual procedure:
2 teaspoons of simple syrup (or a bit more plain sugar, more on that later maybe), a handful of mint, and splash some soda in there to dissolve the sugar. Muddle this mixture. Filter out the mint (!) Squeeze both halves of a lime into the glass, leave one half rind (!) in the glass. 3 oz dark rum, fill with ice, and top with club soda. Garnish with a not-muddled mint sprig.

My ever so slight variation:
2 oz tsp simple syrup, handful of mint, an ice cube, 3 oz rum, in the mortar, grind with the pestle until you are bored, or your guests salivate, but at least until the ice cube melts. Again, watch the possibilty of dropping the mortar, but pour the whole thing in to a metal shaker (metal shakers are the only way to go, by the way; more, as I like to say, later). Top with ice, and shake until your arm falls off, or you can't take the cold. Filter into a tall glass (most of the mint will get through the shaker filter, but not the ice cubes). Top with more ice - and this is so important... a chilled drink, in fresh ice will get very cold. Half a lime, cut in small wedges, squeezed and dropped in the drink. Another mint sprig, and top with soda.

Unlike gin and tonics, which get a sublime taste when mixed *just* right, the soda ratio is not very important. You need some in there, but the mint and sugar break the rum strength.

Compare this to a mint julep, another mint drink, from not quite so far south:
4 oz bourbon (no substitutes here) 6 sprigs of mint (not sure why I know that number) 2 tablespoons simple syrup, muddle. Let sit for a minute, pour (or strain if you don't like too much mint) into a glass, top with more ice, soda water and another sprig. For tradition, I guess, I don't mess with this recipe, although I don't really follow horse racing. I hear the version now served in the middle of the track at the Derby is not exactly made like it was back in the day.

Although similar to the above, this is not a collins at all. A rum collins is the one known as Pedro. Brothers Tom and John being slightly more famous in this realm (while Mike, Jack and the other cousins are all but obsolete). If you order a pedro collins with mint at almost any bar, you will get nothing but a funny look. In most states, if you order a mojito, you'd get the same look, but most cocktail towns are coming around, and you'll actually see this drink on the menu at some places. This not being the largest grievance of bars though, since this drink is much better on the back deck, and will probably be made better by yourself anyway. So invite Pedro over this weekend and see what he does with some mint.

Alas, I digress. Enjoy!

Update: I made some mint juleps this past week... having to make seven at a time, I flash blended the drinks, instead of muddling. I am surprised that I have not seen mention of this before (probably a better idea for mojitos, actually, since tradition is so strong around the julep), because it worked remarkably well. Another idea would be to highly blend the drinks, then filter out the spent mint pieces.

Suburban Blight

Kelly from Suburban Blight has provided me with this recipe for Salmon Martinique for submission to Deus Ex Culina. She's interested in joing Deus, but is a bit gunshy about posting herself. Maybe we can give her some encouragement?

Ok, now in her words...

Mama always told me that the way to a man’s heart is through is stomach. Now, as a modern girl, I was always inclined to scoff at mother’s olde tyme nugget of wisdom and felt firmly assured that the way to a man’s heart was several inches south of the digestive tract. And for a single woman, perhaps my modern revision of the old adage holds true. But now that I am getting a little older, settled down, and life is a lot quieter, it is starting to look more and more like mama might have been right.

Look, my husband and I have three kids. He’s a professor at a local university, and I am a stay at home mom cum network administrator. We’re busy people, and with all these children running around, we’re following an “austerity program” to boot. We no longer have the discretionary income that allowed us, as hot-and-steamy- singles, to go out and buy a romantic dinner every time we want to have a “date”. Sometimes we have to make do with tools we have around the house.

Luckily, I love to cook. Now, I’ve looked around over here at Deus Ex Culina, and I can assure you that these guys are much fancier cooks that am I. My daily style tends to range from old-fashioned make-your-own-biscuits Southern to Busy Mommy Chic. But occasionally I get inspired, especially when I’m preparing a meal to, umm, get that old love light shinin’, if you get my drift.

Bear in mind that I usually operate on a budget, so you won’t find many premium or hard-to-find items in my recipes, and this one is no exception. However, with a little forethought and a modicum of skill, you can whip up something that looks like it belongs on a magazine cover. Here’s a meal that can easily be prepared beforehand, the parts assembled just in time for cooking. Try it!

Salmon Martinique with steamed asparagus and spicy oven-roasted potatoes: (serves 2)

2 8oz salmon steaks
1 lemon
1 bulb of garlic
4 tbsp. Olive oil
½ cup shredded Parmesan cheese
¼ cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
1 package Stove Top Stuffing mix (plain or herb n’ garlic)

Juice the lemon into a flat dish suitable for marinating both steaks. Mince at least three cloves of garlic and add it to the dish. We really like garlic, so we end up using about 8 cloves. Add the olive oil, and mix the marinade slightly with a fork or spoon, just to be sure the ingredients are well-distributed. Place the salmon steaks in the mixture, cover the dish with plastic wrap and transfer to the fridge. Marinate for an hour, then flip the steaks in the marinade, and put them back in the fridge for another hour.

Preheat oven to 400°. In a bowl, mix ½ of the bag of stuffing mix with the parmesan and the parsley. Toss to blend. Remove the salmon from the marinade, and dredge the steaks in the mixture. Place salmon in a baking dish, and drizzle lightly with leftover marinade. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until done to taste. You’ll know its done when the flesh is opaque.

Steamed Asparagus:

A good, old fashioned no-brainer. Take one bunch of asparagus, wash it, and cut off the bottom of each stalk (the hard part). Place the asparagus in a pyrex bowl with a lid. Add 3 tbsp of water, and 2 tbsp of butter if desired. Cover the bowl, and microwave for 5 minutes. Done.

Spicy Oven-Roasted Potatoes

1 very large potato
One ziplock freezer bag
¾ tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
¾ tsp garlic powder
½ tsp red cayenne pepper
Cooking spray (like PAM, but I prefer the olive oil kind)

Peel the potato, and dice into small, bite-size chunks. Add the spices to the ziplock bag and shake to mix. Then add the potato, shaking to coat all the pieces evenly. Then, spray a cookie sheet with the cooking spray, and add the potatoes in a single layer. Bake at 400° for 13 minutes, then turn the potatoes and cook the other side for 13 minutes.

I’d serve this meal with a cheap-but-tasty pinot grigio (my grocer carries low-rent brands). Garnish the salmon with thin slices of the juiced lemon. The meal itself is filling, but not heavy enough to impede, um, other “date” activities. A cheap way to your man’s heart. Enjoy.

Clam bake recipes/ideas

Just to get the party started, take a look at these links, and let me know what you guys are thinking.

1 2 3 4 5 6

3 seems to be down, but I'll leave the link in case it comes back.

Update: 3 is back up, and, I found a very similar recipe in the Joy of Cooking (the new one). page 510. They say this was probably devised by Native American Indians, most likely the Wampanoag tribe of Massachusetts and Connecticut. I think that makes them at least worthy of a casino.

Slamm Dunk

Made cornish game hens last night. It's a concept I call "Slamm Dunk." The extra "m" makes it cooler.

Anyhow, the basic concept is to deep fry two cornish game hens in peanut oil. The result is a delicious and crispy bird that is more juicy than anything you've ever tasted in your life. I'd love to open a diner or fast food restaurant that served only these, but all different styles, like one could be Mexican, served with rice, guacamole, salsa and tortillas. And one could be Roscoes style, served with eggs on top of waffles. I could imagine perhaps ten different styles, all just done by changing the fixins. I think it'd be a cool restaurant. Let me know if you agree.

Anyway, here's the photo of the result. Read on for the recipe.

Ingredients:

2 cornish game hens
About 96 fl oz of peanut oil. That's 4 24 oz containers. I use Planters.
Salt
Pepper (I use fresh ground white, black, red and green, mixed together)
Paprika
Cumin
Chipotle Powder
Ground Thyme
Onion Powder

One Zucchini, sliced
3 tbs butter

Trim any excess fat off of the hens, and reserve for stock, along with the giblets. Thoroughly pat dry hens, both inside and out, with paper towels. It is important to dry them as they will be dunked in hot oil, and if they are wet it will cause splatter. Thoroughly salt and pepper the inside of both hens. Then, lightly sprinkle the salt, then pepper, then paprika and cumin, then chipotle, thyme and onion powder, all over the birds. Use your eyeball to judge the amount, but by the end there should be a light coating all over both birds. Rub into the skin, and place on a baking sheet and set in the refrigerator for 4 or more hours.

When it's time to cook the birds, pour the oil into an enormous stock pot, and set to high heat. It's up to you to judge the size of the pot, and to make sure that both hens will fit. If you have only a small pot, use less oil and do one bird at a time. Using an electronic thermometer, raise the oil to 390 degrees. when it's at the desired temperature, place both birds in for 12 minutes or one at a time for about 6 minutes. Use a basket or chinese strainer to remove the birds to plates, being careful to drein out the oil that accumulates in the bird's cavity. Let cool about 5 minutes before serving. The oil can be reused about three times, so after it's cooled, place into a container and refrigerate until next use.

Meanwhile, slice zucchini and saute in a separate pan in the melted butter until soft. Salt and pepper to taste.

Maine this summer

Sama and I and some other friends are invading Maine this summer for a week. We are looking to do a great classic clam bake and of course some lobster. I would like to do grilled lobster, but that might be too restrictive. Anyway, if you have any ideas, please let us know.

Thanks!